I am handicapped, but I’m not comfortable talking about disabilities. In my early school years, I saw kids much worse than I am. These kids were my classmates, so I saw them every day. Some of them couldn’t talk at all, move, hear, or see. At that time, I was fine with it. But now as an adult, I get scared when I’m with a handicapped person. I get very nervous and uncomfortable because I don’t know their personalities, dreams, or what they like.
My childhood friends are disabled; for example: Eleesha, who has CP, and lives in a power wheelchair, is still my friend. I tell her what to expect because we had same back surgery. We talk through the e-mail.
I’ve been teaching the non-handicapped people about the disable people because I feel it’s very important how the non-handicapped act around a power wheelchair, a walker, a person who can’t talk or walk normal, leg braces, and all the cool devices that we have to help us.
There are many types of handicaps; but, I’m going to give some examples about four kinds of disabilities. I will discuss: Tourettes, Spastic Cerebral Palsy, Brain Injuries, and Autism.
Tourettes:
“Don’t let Tourettes win!” a quote by Brad Cohen, a second grade teacher, changed my outlook on life.
Tourettes includes: eye blinking and other eye movements, facial grimacing, shoulder shrugging, and head or shoulder jerking. Simple vocalizations might include repetitive throat-clearing, sniffing, or grunting sounds.
In the movie, Front of the Class, Brad shows how difficult life is with Tourettes. He taught me how to “teach” a handicap. He showed me how to use a comparison to explain it. He developed Tourettes when he was 6. His family didn’t know what he had; they just thought he was messing around. He got teased, picked on, and name callings, just because he couldn’t help it. His mother always protected him. His father thought he was messing around; like every 8-year-old. His mom and he went to the doctors to find out what he had. The doctors told his mom that it was bad parenting because his father and his mother got a divorce. They thought it was because of that, that he was acting up. He kept on getting expelled because of the noises. His mom went to a library for some medical books, and she tried to bring him in with her. He refused because of the involuntary loud noises. He sat outside, waiting. She found the books. She checked them out and brought them home. She found the name of what he had. She called his father to tell him about the Tourettes.
At an elementary school, they had a Christmas concert, and Brad wasn’t planning on going; but the principal wanted him there. During the concert, Brad kept on interrupting the concert. When the concert was over, the principal called him to the stage. The principal asked him about his Tourettes, and Brad answered them. The principal wanted the students and the teachers to know about his handicapped. After Brad was done, everyone clapped and they understood. At that moment, he knew he wanted to be a teacher.
He went to college and got his degree in teaching. He knew he wanted to be a 2nd grade teacher. In the interviews with the schools, his Tourettes acted up more because he was nervous. He got rejections after rejections. One principal won’t listen to him, he just saw his handicapped. He went into his car, and just hit the steering wheel and cried. He was very frustrated that he couldn’t find a school that would accept his Tourettes.
On one interview, he thought it would be like the others. The principal and he talked about 2 hours. He went back for a second interview, and then another one with the staff. He got hired. He told his family and his girlfriend. He got the troubled kids.
One kid didn’t obey him at first. He would step out of class without telling Brad. He got detention. The boy hated reading. Brad showed him how hard it is for a person with Tourettes.
With Tourettes, Brad couldn’t concentrate that easy. He needed extra time to do his work. With the loud noises, he needed a separate room, so he couldn’t interrupt the rest.
One day, an observer for the school, was watching him and his class. He thought he would be fired. He was very worried about the thought of looking again. He couldn’t get rejected all over again. The principle told him that he won an award for the teacher of the year.
I feel like I’m Brad because I will not let SCP rule my life.
Spastic Cerebral Palsy (SCP):
I’m Amanda D. Petty, and I have Spastic Cerebral Palsy. I didn’t get it from birth or develop it after I was born, like most babies were. I was a normal child, and at 22 months old, I drowned. Because of my accident, I have Brain Anoxia. That is where the brain is deprived of oxygen causing the damage to the brain stem; anytime the brain would send out a signal it would get crossed or wrong. I’ve been told that I’m categorized to have very mild case of cerebral palsy. If you observed me for a minute or two, I would move my left arm, and without my knowledge, it would be somewhere else. That’s the brain anoxia. For example, my left hand, it’s like a fish hook. That’s the spastic cerebral palsy. Every time I get excited or something change, my hand becomes a hook, and I can’t help it. I take some meds to help with the tightness. I will give you information about C.P. and my personal experiences.
What is Cerebral Palsy (C.P.)?
The dictionary says: “A disability resulting from damage to the brain before, during, or shortly after birth and outwardly manifested by muscular in-coordination and speech disturbances.”
The name ‘cerebral’ refers to the brain. The brain is the only organ that does not regenerate its cells; so that when it is damaged those cells die off and the body flushes them out. The name ‘palsy’ refers to physical disorders such as difficulty moving.
The term cerebral palsy refers to any one of a numerous type brain damages that appear in infancy or early childhood, and permanently affect body movement and muscle coordination but don’t worsen over time. Even though cerebral palsy affects muscle movement, it isn’t caused by problems in the muscles or nerves. It is caused by abnormalities in parts of the brain that control muscle movements.
The Three types:
C.P. has three types: Spastic Cerebral Palsy, Athetoid Cerebral Palsy, and Ataxic Cerebral Palsy.
The spastic cerebral palsy includes stiffness of one side of the body. They’ve got stiffness in arms or hands and some may also show rigidity in legs. With spastic hemiplegia develop scoliosis. Although their intelligence is not affected by this condition, they tend to have problems with their speech. In case of spastic diplegia, they have difficulty walking as the muscles in their legs develop rigidity. They need help of leg braces or crutches to walk. The most severe form is the spastic quadriplegia. The brain has suffered from extensive damage and this causes stiffness of all limbs. It has been found that over 70% are diagnosed with spastic cerebral palsy. The spastic cerebral palsy symptoms include muscle spasms and stiffness that causes impairment in limb movement.
Athetoid cerebral palsy symptoms affect the balance and the depth of perception. This means, they cannot balance themselves and have difficulty in judging the position of objects relative to their position. They have a clumsy gait and uncoordinated movements. They are unable to perform tasks like tying a shoelace or writing. They show no abnormality in their intelligence as well as communication skills. The Athetoid cerebral palsy symptoms include abnormal movements. These abnormal movements include jerking, twisting, slow, uncontrolled movements as well as writhing movements. These movements may disappear when they sleeps and increase if it is emotionally disturbed. This condition affects about 20% of cerebral palsy.
This is one of the very rare forms of cerebral palsy. The ataxic cerebral palsy symptoms include weakness, uncoordinated movements, balancing problems, etc. It shows difficulty with their fine or rapid movements and walks with a wide-based gait. The ataxic cerebral palsy affects about 10% affected with this disorder. They may make random body movements. They have problems controlling their posture as well as speech. This is because they cannot control their tongue and vocal cords. They also show problems while eating and drool a lot. They have no problems with their intelligence levels.
My feelings about having Spastic Cerebral Palsy (SCP):
Involuntary movement is where you cannot control your muscles. When I want a cup of water, I have to fill it with 70% of ice because of my involuntary movement. It takes time to eat, use the computer, or write. With me, it comes and goes. I know when I’m in it. I just have to wait until it passed. Sometimes, it last a few seconds or a few minutes. With involuntary movement, you’ll get hurt because of your muscles.
Because of my accident, I have peripheral vision. I’m near and farsighted. I’ve got my own computer and TV. I adjust the light on their screens on the lowest dim because the bright light gives me headaches. But, when I’m in the sunlight, I’m fine. I need glasses because of my eyesight.
I do have speech problems; but my reason is because of my accident. The doctors put a tube down my throat, and it ruined my vocal cords. With my speech, I’ve got trouble with the sounds of m’s, st’s, sn’s, and my g’s sound like d’s, and I can’t talk fast. Whenever I get to a st or a sn word, I “run it”. I mean by “run it”; I repeat the sound of the letter until I can say the word right; for example: when I say the word, stop. I say, “ssssstop”. At times, I get tired easily and faster when I say st and sn words. But, I try my best to say those words. Yes, it does get frustrating at times. I don’t give up; I can’t. Some days, it is harder for me to speak.
A hair-line fracture is exceedingly thin, like a hair. I used to get these in my left leg all the time when I was young. Because of my SCP on my left side of my body, the muscles pull my right muscles. When you have involuntary movement that hair-line fracture feels like your whole bone hurts. I can’t walk, and my bones are like a 90-year-old person, very fragile. I have to be careful with my legs.
All of handicapped people have some kind of depression or low-self-esteem. I should know because I have this. At times, it’s bad. I just want to kill myself. I’m not on any meds for this. When I’m depress, I try my hardest to get out of it. It lasts for a few minutes or an hour. I write my feelings in poetry, dance, or cry it out. I even hit a pillow. I talk to a really good friend, and that succors me too. I try to get that depression out of my system.
I get leg cramps because of the muscles spasms. I can’t feel the spasms. But, I can feel the cramps, and they hurt. After the rice bag and the massaging don’t work, I take my meds. I’ve got some circulation in my legs. In the summer time, they are still cold; even though my upper part is warm. In the cold, my legs hurt. I have to have a banana every morning because if I don’t, I get major leg cramps.
I’ve got an under-bite. Because of the way I move my jaw, when I talk, it moves to the left side, and it pops. Meaning, I can play with my jaw. With that note, I’ve got TMJ and that hurt like you won’t even believe. TMJ is where your jaw goes out. I can tell when my jaw is going out. I have to be very careful. I cannot eat anything that’s tough or hard to chew. I choke very easily because my gag reflex is very poor.
When I see my dentist, it is painful because my jaw is open. My teeth are in exceedingly bad shape because I can’t swallow like a normal person, and that saliva stays in my mouth. When I get a cavity or a root canal, I have to have dental surgery because it’s easy on the dentists and me. On a root canal, I have to have an endodontist.
At 17 years old, I had a 12-hour back surgery. Because of my SCP, my back was like a question mark. They put a rod in my back. I’m middle age, and I still have scoliosis and that won’t ever change. My family calls me the human weather detector because I can tell when there’s a storm coming.
In my early school years, I took a test that determined how smart I am, and I had a 60 for my score. That means that I was mentally retarded because I don’t have all of my brain cells. But, I’m not that at all.
I tried my hardest to learn something new every day. But, when I do, I forget it. My English professor comes over and teaches me. When she comes, I prepare myself for her because she isn’t easy for me. I remember what my high school English teacher taught me; but not that well. If it’s hands-on, I remember and pick it up fast. I’m on two meds, and when I take them, my brain is foggy, and I can’t remember stuff that well the next day. I get very frustrated at my brain because my professor needs to show me how things are; when I know the answers in my head.
Without my meds, my vision gets very blurry and I skip words; each time I read anything on paper. I try to read on my own but I don’t really comprehend that well. Speakonia is a great computer program that I found, allow me to read myself. This program reads aloud and succors my speech as well.
In June of 2001, I started to write poetry. In January of 2012, an idea came to write poetry for other people. I thought, how? An answer came: do it online. Well, all through springtime, I’ve been studying and learning all about different kind of styles. On July 10th, 2012 at 9:00pm, “Pretty Petty Poetry” has been born. Because of my business, I have a newsletter that I do monthly. In these newsletters, I’m teaching my fans about the handicapped.
Because of my accident, I have brain damage. So, I can help Travis.
Brain Injuries:
My new friend, Travis has become handicapped overnight. On July 4th, 2011, life as he knew it has forever changed. He was 26 years old; he drove his motorcycle through the country side, enjoying the beautiful scenery. Then out of nowhere, a deer cross his path, and the animal saw God. Because of the accident, he has brain damage, his right side is paralyzed, he lost his short-term memory, he can walk but not that well, and his speech is hard to understand.
I watched a movie that helps me with Travis. It’s called: Remember Sunday. The protagonist is name, Gus. Gus showed me how difficult life is. Three years ago, he suffered a brain aneurysm. He can remember everything that happened in his life pre-aneurysm, when he was a star astrophysicist; but his memory grasp on everything since then is virtually non-existent. Every day is a brand new day, literally, for Gus. From the moment his alarm clock goes off, his life is directed by sticky notes.
I truly had no idea how Travis’s life is. This movie opened my eyes to his new but hard life.
Brain injuries that occur after birth, we call acquired brain injuries and the majority of those are traumatic in nature, such as sudden blows to the head as a result of a car or bike accident, a fall, or assault. Other types of traumatic brain injuries are those caused by something entering the brain, causing wide spread damage like gun shots or stabbing. The brain can also be damaged if it doesn’t get enough oxygen for example after a heart attack or suffocation, by poisoning with drugs or gasses, by infections, or by internal bleeding like a stroke.
Damage to the brain can show itself in many ways, depending on what parts of the brain are damaged and by how bad or severe the damage is.
Depending on where it is in the brain, the damage may affect physical, cognitive and psychological functions. Physical problems may affect walking, balance, movement and strength. Cognitive difficulties may include language and communication, memory, thinking skills, or planning and decision making. Psychological effects can include mood and behavior, difficulties with social skills such as forming and maintaining relationships or dealing with emotions. Damage to the brain is often not visible to the naked eye, so some problems will not be obvious to other people for example cognitive difficulties, whilst other difficulties might stand out more such as physical problems.
Brain damages are not fun. When my nephew, Mikael was born, he had a snag with the oxygen to his brain. Now, he has Autism.
Autism:
As a toddle, Mikael would do things very strangely. For an example: his cars, he would line them in a straight line, and I couldn’t move them. When we played outside, he would go around in circles. He didn’t talk, just cried. As a family, we tried to succor him like a normal kid. We knew something was wrong with him. But, we didn’t know what he had. My mom was looking on the web of the name. He showed us symptoms that we noticed right away. She finds out what he had: Autism.
The disorder on the autism spectrum is a neurological disorder that affects a child’s ability to communicate, understand language, play, and relate to others. They share some or all of the following characteristics, which can vary from mild to severe: communication problems, difficulty relating to people, things, and events; playing with toys and objects in unusual ways, difficulty adjusting to changes in routine or to familiar surroundings, and repetitive body movements or behaviors.
These characteristics are typically evident before the age of three. Children with autism or one of the other disorders on the autism spectrum can differ considerably with respect to their abilities, intelligence, and behavior. Some children don’t talk at all. Others use language where phrases or conversations are repeated. Children with the most advanced language skills tend to talk about a limited range of topics and to have a hard time understanding abstract concepts. Repetitive play and limited social skills are also evident. Other common symptoms of a disorder on the autism spectrum can include unusual and sometimes uncontrolled reactions to sensory information—for instance, to loud noises, bright lights, and certain textures of food or fabrics.
Every Saturday, Mikael comes to visit. As his aunt, I try to succor him. I try to teach him, but he cannot hold still for 5 minutes. We played things he knows. As a baby, I drove Mikael in my wheelchair, and try to teach him about nature. I’m trying to teach him about Heavenly Father, through primary songs. I say a little prayer for him; to let him know that he’s special.
Learning:
A non-handicapped person learns fast and picks it up. We, the handicapped, have trouble. Brad, because of his Tourettes, needs extra time and can’t concentrate; Travis, because of his accident, has to relearn things that are new every day; Mikael, because of his Autism, needs time because he can’t hold still; I, who have Spastic Cerebral Palsy, have trouble with my speech; we are still learning about the handicapped world. We will not, cannot, and do not want Tourettes, Spastic Cerebral Palsy, Brain Damages, or Autism to rule our lives.
“I Am Here” and “I’ll Walk with You”:
I’m a poet, and here’s one of my poems. This is my all time favorite. It’s called: “I Am Here”. This is truly how I feel. I think all of the handicapped people feel this way. Picture yourself as Brad, Travis, Mikael, or me; people stare at you, laugh at you, call you names, and yes, even give you “the bird”, just because you’re disabled. How would that make you feel?
I Am Here
By-Amanda D. Petty
Can you look past my handicap for once?
I am here; real emotions,
Weak bones can be loved,
But, you just see my wheels.
Why can’t you see the real me?
I am here; free soul,
Singing spirit,
But, you see a broken body.
Reach beyond yourself and see what you don’t know.
Lecturing you to see the real beauty from inside.
Feeling pain: emotional and physical, just hurts.
But, you use the devil acts still.
Can you view me, as a person?
I am here; passionate by trade,
Succoring people,
But, you just see my motor.
Why can’t you observe me?
I am here; trying to live,
Trying to be cheerful,
But, you don’t SEE me.
Why?
In Closing:
Brad, Mikael, Travis, and I have these handicaps for a reason: to teach anyone about a physical or mental handicap. Yes, being handicapped is NOT easy. We, the handicapped, need a very strong backbone to put up with everything that is mean. Travis has been disabled for a few years, but Brad, Mikael and I have been like this since we were kids.
Brad taught me this very important lesson in understanding different perspectives with any handicap: we can teach the non-handicapped people how we are, how we learn, and how we are just like them; we like to go places, love to laugh, and just have fun. We may need extra time to do our work, but we are hard workers with hearts.
We see, in people, the true person behind that ignominious, narcissistic, superficial attitude. We feel the unsaid words. For example: the words, “Special Needs”, “Retarded”, “Slow”, or “Physically or Mentally Challenged” are silently hurting us, and making us an inch tall. You’re thinking you’re being kind and nice by giving us these “titles”. Well, you are not! Just say the right names for us. We are handicapped or disabled, and not “Special Needs”, “Retarded”, “Slow”, “Physically or Mentally Challenged” because we are not. We realize we have needs, but you don’t need to act on them.
